HUMOR: Great New Web Sites

Subject: HUMOR: Great New Web Sites
From: Andrew Plato <intrepid_es -at- yahoo -dot- com>
To: Techwrl-l <techwr-l -at- lists -dot- raycomm -dot- com>
Date: Wed, 12 Jul 2000 12:56:03 -0700 (PDT)

Hey gang, just wanted to let you know about some great new resources for tech
writers on the web. Check 'em out!

Do those young people with their "Personal Computers" really bunch up your
Depends. Are you tired of people not listening to you? Try out the web portal
specifically for angry old coots. We have everything a tired, pissed-off old
fart needs to cement his/her feelings of superiority. Find out exactly why and
how "they don't make them like they used to."

Have you made a million in dot.coms without doing anything at all? Is your firm
living off a never ending stream of stupid investors? Then you need the web
site devoted to arrogant a-holes who made an unearned fortune in the dotcom
boom. Whether you have an overinflated sense of worth or just managed to put a
few bucks in the right stock, you can network with other arrogant pricks like
yourself. You'll learn things like: how to make waiters work harder for you,
why you need a ridiculously expensive German car, and how to fear the poor. Log
on to today and earn free points to redeem at the Sharpest
Image, the store for people with more money than brains.

Are you a small, meek person who resents the scum you work with because they
don't respect your amazing intelligence? Do you "connect" with Travis Bickle?
John Hinkley? Pauly Shore? Then you need the site devoted to helping you get
the respect you deserve. Join our never-ending chat rooms and connect with
other people who think they know everything. Log on to our employment center
and find stimulating jobs as a technical writer, postal worker, performance
artist, and many other pathetic occupations.

Do you gather intense enjoyment from other people's mistakes? Do those reality
tv shows reach you in a profound or spiritual way? Then jump on the site
devoted to exposing the stupidity of other people, for your pleasure. If it
means a lot to you to belittle people and put them in their place, then is the place for you. Read our weekly column from Thad
Monkeysucker "Gee Yer Dumb". You can also check out our Grammar Nazi section
where you can fulfil your need to judge people based on their grammar errors.

NMU - National Morons Union:
(sorry, I had to do it)

The only union devoted exclusively to morons, those seething hordes of "other
people" who are ruining the world. If you are a moron and belive the world
should work for you and you alone, the NMU is for you. We can help defend your
intense moronic behaviors and obsessions. Why fight with the rational,
reasonable, or intelligent when you can get the support of millions of morons
to help you find "moron approved" work. Looking to connect with other morons?
The NMU holds quadraweekly MoronMeets. Sip tepid coffee and bond with fellow
1989 Ford Taurus driving losers.

Are you an inept manager? Do you like to come in at 10 am and leave every day
at 2 pm? When your boss asks you about that report, do you immediately blame
the morons working for you? If this is you than you can wait another second to
logon to Whether your lying about deadlines or misleading
employees, ineptmanagement can provide all the answers you need including
hundreds of meaningless productivity metrics. Why look busy when you can
implement meaningless performance metrics that do the work for you. Don't
forget to stop by our job site, seeing as how you better move along before the
paper trail catches up with you. You can also signup for a free 25 MB mail
account and IRC chat lines. Now you can look busy on-line when you're really
just sending pornography to a pal in Texas.

Andrew Plato

Better than a swift jab in the liver:

Do You Yahoo!?
Get Yahoo! Mail ? Free email you can access from anywhere!

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