HUMOR: I Need Advice

Subject: HUMOR: I Need Advice
From: Andrew Plato <intrepid_es -at- yahoo -dot- com>
To: "TECHWR-L" <techwr-l -at- lists -dot- raycomm -dot- com>
Date: Thu, 2 Nov 2000 12:45:29 -0800 (PST)

WARNING: The following message contains scathing satire. If you are unable to
process such information, please see your local sales associate about obtaining
a clue. You can also visit our web site and obtain a 90-day evaluation version
of a personality. Please note, the FDA has not approved our product for use on
those individuals with chronic humorlessness and AlGore's disease. Thank you.

Hi everybody,

I am considering thinking for myself. I realize this is a very new concept for
many technical writers accustom to seeking approval for every minute detail of
their lives. Perhaps some of you can help me.

1. When was the last time you actually thought for yourself? What was it like?
Did you get a rash? (I did!)

2. When thinking for yourself do you fret and worry that there isn't proper
functional group consensus? Do you conduct extensive customer and client focus
group meetings to ensure your thinking is properly oriented to the needs and
desires of people who just want some more free coffee and waxy pastries.

3. What are the proper interface and functional metrics for thinking for
yourself? We need to make sure that self-guided thinking is giving us the
proper return on investment.

4. Does STC have rules or guidelines about how technical writers should think
and be able to reason out a problem? We are considering implementing a
comprehensive Thought Mapping system using BrainCrusher 2000. What success has
anybody had with this personality extraction system?

5. Lastly, could you just do all my work for me? I am really not sure what to
do, so I was thinking I'll just send my work here and you guys can do it for me
while I go take a class in Advanced Theoretical Analysis of Comprehension
Communicative Theory and Electronic Whateverism. It would really be a help for
us. We're all really sick of dealing with these "technical" things. They just
ruin our schedule of attending meetings, forming committees, and going to trade

Thanks everybody. I really appreciate all your help. I'm not sure how I could
ever be the writer I am not without your help.

Seth Slothgawker
Insensitive Software Services.

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