Catbert and employee performance reviews

Subject: Catbert and employee performance reviews
From: Mike Buckler <mbuckler -at- opera -dot- iinet -dot- net -dot- au>
To: "TECHWR-L" <techwr-l -at- lists -dot- raycomm -dot- com>
Date: Wed, 28 Mar 2001 22:41:18 +0800

Who writes these things?

Today I was handed the following form:

Employee Performance Review
Please rate the following areas on a scale of 1 to 5, with 5 being the

Time Management
Priority setting
Job knowledge
Thinks creatively
Results orientated
Fit for position
Following procedures
Willingness to go extra mile
Sense of urgency

My initial reaction was to put down "5" in response to these
meaningless statements, but that would indicate an "attitude" of less
than "5", oh dear.

OK, I think I know what "time management" and "Thinks creatively"
mean. As for the others, who knows. Perhaps I'm thinking about these
statement too deeply. Indeed, perhaps they are specially formulated by
Catbert according to sound scientific principles, then again
maybe they were found on the back of a breakfast cereal packet
(hmmm, doesn't look good for the "attitude", mental note: have to work on that).

Well I could put down "5" for everything except "attitude" which I
would give "1" but that would like kind of weird and the HR department
would probably get suspicious.

How about random numbers, or no numbers (freaky), an ascending or
descending sequence or a sinusoidal curve. I need a set of numbers
that will leave HR scratching their heads and reaching for books on
management psychology. Can anyone help?


Mike Buckler

Tech writing glossary:


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