Top 10 things to do now that you're laid off

Subject: Top 10 things to do now that you're laid off
From: Andrew Plato <intrepid_es -at- yahoo -dot- com>
To: "TECHWR-L" <techwr-l -at- lists -dot- raycomm -dot- com>
Date: Fri, 6 Jul 2001 16:19:48 -0700 (PDT)

So you went and got yourself laid off. Not to worry sport, buck up and
just think of these great things you can do with your time:

10. Join a local charity that is dominated by morons who use what small
amount of power they have to belittle and demoralize people with low self
esteem.

9. Dig up all your dead animals and try to reassemble them.

8. Start your own company and enjoy poverty AND stress.

7. Update your resume with stuff that you considered doing, but never
could because you were too busy talking about doing it.

6. Eat more, move less.

5. Take a class at your local community college such as:

Information Systems 110:
Introduction to Emotional Attachments
to Software

Programming 205:
How to Hate Microsoft and Realistically Justify your
Perverted Love of Open Source Products.

Business Administration 410:
Business Ethics: How to Be More Like Microsoft

4. Hang around STC meetings and test to see if your dosages of prozac are
just right.

3. Get motivated! Appear on game shows that routinely humiliate the
unemployed: "You ARE the Weakest Link - Goodbye!"

2. Spice up your job prospects. Have all those gross moles with big hairs
sticking out of them cauterized off your face.

And the number one thing to do now that you're unemployed:

1. Run for president! Heck **ANYBODY** can do that job!





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