true confessions

Subject: true confessions
From: kcronin -at- daleen -dot- com
To: "TECHWR-L" <techwr-l -at- lists -dot- raycomm -dot- com>
Date: Tue, 5 Mar 2002 19:51:37 -0700


In the midst of all today's turmoil on the list, and the subsequent
confessional wave it generated, I offer this:

I've been getting a lot of flack online and off from people offended by my
attitude towards the anonymous poster who is now on leave recovering from
depression. Some are people with whom I correspond frequently, whose
opinions I value, and who are obviously unhappy with the way I've
expressed my opinions.

I'd like to publicly apologize to anybody I've offended, Anonymous
included. I *do* want to help. In my experience, sometimes when you try to
help somebody, it means you're going to be telling them something they
don't want to hear.

I encounter this syndrome almost daily with my teenage daughter, who views
my efforts to guide her as something between tyranny and child abuse,
depending on how early I tell her she has to be home at night, or what
clothes I'm willing to let her leave the house wearing.

But back to depression. Please know that I do not dismiss the concept of
depression lightly. I've had closer exposure to it than you might think.
And I didn't intend to kick anybody while they were down.

I will go so far as to suggest that maybe Anonymous's approach to this
situation made things worse, not better. And I firmly believe we should
try not to let our jobs get us THAT upset, particularly given where I
perceive a job's place in the Big Scheme Of Things.

But that is both a subjective view, and a task that's easier said than
done.

And more importantly, does that help Anonymous right NOW? I guess not. I
don't know what I can do to help Anonymous right now, but I thought I
could offer some advice for avoiding such trauma in the future. That's
what I tried to do.

I hope Anonymous recovers. And I hope Anonymous approaches his/her next
job differently. I think it would be healthier, and make both employer and
employee more happy. But if I've made matters worse rather than better, I
am truly sorry.

Okay, that's it. Now I'm going back to my quest for The Perfect Sig Line.
Carry on.

-Keith Cronin

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