RE: Techwr-l : The Movie <OT - humor>

Subject: RE: Techwr-l : The Movie <OT - humor>
From: "Sella Rush" <srush -at- MusicNet -dot- com>
To: "TECHWR-L" <techwr-l -at- lists -dot- raycomm -dot- com>
Date: Wed, 20 Mar 2002 15:07:31 -0800

Thank you, whoever started this thread! I'm thinking more black comedy style:

Curse of the Alpha Geek
(or Death of an Alpha Geek)

Scene opens with our <anti>hero in yet another confrontation with the software architect. After some introductory office activity in which tension grows, another scene ensues during which the architect says, for what turns out to be the last time, "nobody reads the f***ing documentation anyway!". In response, the hero clocks him on the head with the corner of his 12-lb, hand-me-down laptop (*not* the new slim model sitting on the architect's desk) and does the world a favor.

The hero is then faced with the task of concealing his crime. Hiding the body is easy, he decides to move it into a corner office assigned to a Senior VP who no one's ever seen.

<<Alternative scenario, he chops it up and stores the pieces in the office refrigerator in tupperware, plastic bags, and old takeout containers, where they remain safe and untouched until the office neat freak finally gets fed up and sweeps the entire contents of the fridge into the dumpster (at 10:30am, of course). Maybe this is done as a fantasy sequence, which he discards when he remembers the squirrelly networking guy/gal who's never been known to let a little green fuzz get in the way of a free meal.>>

But then our hero has to conceal the software architect's absence. At first it's easier than expected; he liberates the new slim laptop, then sends an email using the architect's login announcing he'll be working at home. It turns out none of the development team relished face to face contact with the guy anyway. The tech writer hero takes over the architect's job, something he can easily do because he's at least as SME as the architect was.

The climax comes when our hero finally gets cocky and slips up. In an email exchange with the rest of the development staff, in his architect persona, he compliments the tech writer's white paper (his own work), but forgets to mention formatting, spelling and lack of typos, and instead points out clarity and technical accuracy. From the developers, a deadly email silence ensues. Our hero gets to his feet and peers over his cubicle wall. From the developer side of the office, one by one the developers exit their window offices and congregate at the door of the dev manager. Some fast thinking is required. Our hero quickly copies the original email, adds some "<sarcasm>...</sarcasm>" tags, and sends it off with an "oops". He also cc's himself because a little cruelty adds an air of authenticity. After a heart stopping minute, he at last hears snickering issuing from the dev manager's office. Saved.

Weeks later the architect's body is found dumped in the woods along Washington's Green River, clad in a halter top and miniskirt, blond wig and about a pound of makeup. At the office, the shock is short-lived because everyone's too busy celebrating a successful launch, but the CEO does pause to dedicate version 3.0.56 to the memory of the architect, who had spent the last weeks of his life doing the best work of his life.

Sella Rush
technical writer
srush -at- musicnet -dot- com

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