Do I have a right to feel POed? (take II)

Subject: Do I have a right to feel POed? (take II)
From: "Hart, Geoff" <Geoff-H -at- MTL -dot- FERIC -dot- CA>
To: "TECHWR-L" <techwr-l -at- lists -dot- raycomm -dot- com>
Date: Thu, 22 Aug 2002 14:59:33 -0400

Karen Gloor continued: <<Unfortunately, I didn't know about this meeting
until this morning. Had I known what was going on, I most certainly would've
invited myself.>>

Hmmm... Could you ask your developer friends to invite you to the meeting as
soon as the manager invites them, rather than telling you about it
afterwards? (If there's some office politics being played here, you might
have to agree to protect the identity of your informant.)

<<I have worked with this very same person on getting him to understand the
documentation efforts each and every time he has excluded us from a
meeting... His excuse..."I didn't think you were there..." given that he
walked from cube to cube getting people to come to this meeting and he never
once stopped by mine indicates that yes, indeed, we are an afterthought.>>

If it were just you, then I'd tentatively suggest that you two have an
"issue" you need to resolve; he may dislike your accent, you may remind him
of his ex-wife, or whatever. Something evidently makes him want to avoid
you, and it may be worthwhile trying to find out what that something is;
once you know, you can set about solving the problem. Of course, the reason
may be completely irrational and not subject to changing, and confronting
him would then be a really bad idea, so you'll have to use your judgment on
this one.

The fact that he also didn't stop by the cubicles of the rest of the
documentation team suggests the problem is more widespread than just a
single interpersonal incompatibility. But again, you have to decide whether
this is a fight worth fighting; sure, you could go over his head and ask his
manager to correct the problem, but then you risk creating resentment that
will make the problem even worse in the future. If you don't think you can
talk out the problem and find out what's really causing him to avoid you, it
might be wisest just to keep patiently repeating your message, while making
sure the developers keep you advised about meetings and changes in the

--Geoff Hart, geoff-h -at- mtl -dot- feric -dot- ca
Forest Engineering Research Institute of Canada
580 boul. St-Jean
Pointe-Claire, Que., H9R 3J9 Canada
"User's advocate" online monthly at
"By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is
noblest; second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third, by experience,
which is the bitterest."--Confucius, philosopher and teacher (c. 551-478

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