RE: Chatty vs. Bitchy

Subject: RE: Chatty vs. Bitchy
From: "Giordano, Connie" <Connie -dot- Giordano -at- FMR -dot- COM>
To: "TECHWR-L" <techwr-l -at- lists -dot- raycomm -dot- com>
Date: Thu, 29 May 2003 15:55:54 -0400


Yes it's true, and the smaller the ratio of women to men in the environment,
the more likely it is to wreak havoc. I've played all the roles in the last
20 years. What becomes even tougher is that if you choose to play by the
boys' rules, you end up despised by the boys and by the girls. That gives
you no leverage, no support and no team to speak of. It happens constantly.

The lesson I've learned... Be who you are... Some will call you whatever
they choose to and you can't control what they think, just how you react. So
I'm chatty, often sarcastic, frequently self-deprecating, always
complimentary of hard work and honest effort, usually helpful, and always
respectful and respected. It works for me, but it took a long time. And it
still doesn't always get you what you want or what you've earned. Life just
ain't that fair.

I prefer to take the leadership knowledge I've gained over the years, and
apply it in the workplace... You show respect, civility, friendliness, law &
order, whatever it takes to move the relationships and the project
productively forward.

And you're right, the guys get labeled jerks too, it's just a lot quieter.


Connie P. Giordano
Senior Technical Writer
Advisor Technology Services
A Fidelity Investments Company
704-330-2069 (w)
704-330-2350 (f)
704-957-8450 (c)
connie -dot- giordano -at- fmr -dot- com

"Pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space, 'cause I'm afraid
that we've been cheated here on Earth" - Clint Black "Galaxy Song"

-----Original Message-----
From: eric -dot- dunn -at- ca -dot- transport -dot- bombardier -dot- com
[mailto:eric -dot- dunn -at- ca -dot- transport -dot- bombardier -dot- com]
Sent: Thursday, May 29, 2003 3:42 PM
Subject: Chatty vs. Bitchy

Is the stereotype/complaint really true? Is it really impossible for a woman
to be assertive in the workplace without being labeled bitchy? Seems to me
the polar opposites of friendly/chatty/flirty and bitch are like so many of
the other vapid discussions on-list. There's a huge range of attitudes in
between and there's a balance that HAS to be reached to be effective in a
business scenario.

In the draft back in time thread, I think a number of posters have been
right on the money. Be polite, honest, matter-of-fact, and be assertive when
necessary. I honestly can't agree with the complaint that an assertive woman
will be labeled bitchy. Personally, I think you get labeled bitchy when you
ARE bitchy. A curmudgeon like attitude makes you neither effective, liked,
nor respected.

I think some women think that to be successful they have to act like the
pain-in-the-butt PHB. What they don't realise is that all the workers think
that guy is a jerk. It's just that he has enough power to force respect (and
keep the name calling silenced). So instead of learning what it takes to be
effectively assertive and taking the time to earn respect (seeing as their
position does not bestow it upon them) they launch into a copy of the PHB.

If one of the male underlings took a similar attitude they too would be
labeled jerks/curmudgeons.

Eric L. Dunn


Robohelp X3, from eHelp, lets you quickly and easily create
professional Help systems for all your Windows and Web-based
applications, including Net.

Order RoboHelp X3 in May and receive a $100 mail-in rebate, PLUS
free RoboScreenCapture and WebHelp Merge Module.

Order RoboHelp today:

You are currently subscribed to techwr-l as:
archive -at- raycomm -dot- com
To unsubscribe send a blank email to leave-techwr-l-obscured -at- lists -dot- raycomm -dot- com
Send administrative questions to ejray -at- raycomm -dot- com -dot- Visit for more resources and info.

Previous by Author: RE: Certification program??????????
Next by Author: Re: what to look for in a Tech Editor
Previous by Thread: RE: Chatty vs. Bitchy
Next by Thread: RE: Chatty vs. Bitchy

What this post helpful? Share it with friends and colleagues:

Sponsored Ads