OT: Form Rejection Reply Template (humor)

[David Neeley <dbneeley -at- gmail -dot- com>]

Sorry, although it's not Friday I thought some could find this useful!


Rejection Letter Response Template:
The next time you get a rejection letter from a hoped-for employer or
publisher, just send them the following:

Dear [name of the person who signed the rejection letter],

Thank you for your letter of [date of the rejection letter]. After
careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to
accept your refusal to offer me [employment with your firm/a contract
to publish my book].

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually
large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising
field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.
Despite [name of the co or agency that sent you this letter]'s
outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting
[applicants/manuscripts], I find that your rejection does not meet
with my needs at this time.

Therefore, I will initiate [employment/publishing] with your firm
immediately following [graduation/job change, etc. -- get creative
here]. I look forward to working with you.
Best of luck in rejecting future [candidates/manuscripts].

Sincerely,

[your name]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

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