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Having already contributed private suggestions of doubtful quality to Abby, I'm now ready to suggest a totally new approach. The cow-orker needs toys. Nerf-balls, kush-balls, squeeky dog toys, Dilbert cartoons that do NOT make fun of her, and maybe a Gary Larson day-by-day calendar. These things should arrive on her desk anonymously. I would avoid practical joke items like whoopie cushions and fart bombs, and would not give her anything that makes loud noises, like bells or horns. With fun surprises arriving daily, she'll be too busy being happy to entertain paranacious thoughts.
PS: Don't bother looking up paranacious. I made it up. It means what I want it to mean.
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