RE: How would you revise?

["technical writing plus" <doc-x -at- earthlink -dot- net>]

Here is how I would have the first: 

When a loop is running, and after the first loop is completed, the lines in
the loop cannot be edited anymore. 

Here is how I would have the second:
Either way is ok, I think, both the original and the revision.

Jim Jones

-----Original Message-----
Without any further context, how would you revise the following?

When a loop is running, once the first loop is completed, the lines in the
loop are not editable anymore." My revision: "When a loop is running, you
cannot edit the lines in the loop after the first loop is completed."  

Or revise this sentence: "For submitted sequences, all lines are editable."
My revision: "You can edit all lines for submitted sequences."

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