Re: 'Step Up to Leader' Post > Tangential Question

Subject: Re: 'Step Up to Leader' Post > Tangential Question
From: Ned Bedinger <doc -at- edwordsmith -dot- com>
To: Dori Green <dgreen -at- associatedbrands -dot- com>
Date: Fri, 14 Sep 2007 17:54:26 -0700

Dori Green wrote:
> Re: "flat refusals" -- most companies can benefit from periodic tuneups
> of everybody's basic communication skills. Intent of sender does not
> always equal perception of receiver.
> As the "professional communicators" in the herd, we are justifiably
> expected to lead by example in this area. For instance, if we think we
> just heard a flat refusal from a subordinate, we're supposed to swallow
> our initial reaction ("Oh yeah? Well buddy, I've had it up to here with
> your <insert gunnysack of irritations here> and you're outta here!") and
> instead do a good Active Listening exercise ("Wow, let me make sure I
> just heard you correctly...etc.").

Jumping in late, but after reading so much advice about maintaining
discipline, I want to say that I agree with Dori--the communication
channel needs to be established immediately, and the two of you need to
engage on that level, where active listening provides a disciplined
technique for maintaining that channel. I think I would also try to turn
the encounter away from all the obstructions and differences you and the
employee seem to be finding. Turn it toward "yes". A simple technique
for doing this is to just ask, "What would it take for me to get you to
say yes to the task I've asked you to do?"

If getting a yes first requires that you two go down the road about how
things were done before you got there, then by all means take that
detour, and be prepared to find some humility if it turns out that you
needed to understand this person's work before redirecting it. Working
through the give and take might be hard for both of you, but that's why
it is called work.

Have fun, be flexible, and work *with* the person.

Ned Bedinger
doc -at- edwordsmith -dot- com


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'Step Up to Leader' Post > Tangential Question: From: Agnes Starr
RE: 'Step Up to Leader' Post > Tangential Question: From: Lauren
RE: 'Step Up to Leader' Post > Tangential Question: From: Dori Green

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