Re: Grammar Q

Subject: Re: Grammar Q
From: Janice Gelb <Janice -dot- Gelb -at- Sun -dot- COM>
To: techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
Date: Wed, 23 Jan 2008 20:05:01 +1100

Lauren wrote:
>> From: louise -dot- r -dot- stevanovic -at- transport -dot- qld -dot- gov -dot- au
>> I'd be interested to hear how those of you who never
>> use 'you' would reword sentences that provide options,
>> reminders or information rather than imperatives,
>> such as the following:
>> You will be prompted to update the document history
>> whenever you save the document as a new version.
> "There is a prompt to update the document history with
> each save as a new version."
> "There is a prompt..." can be replaced with "Software X prompts..."
>> The IMD toolbar is displayed in the bottom left of
>> the screen. You can move it anywhere on the screen.
> "The IMD toolbar is displayed in the bottom left of the
> screen and it can be moved anywhere on the screen."
> Or "...and is movable anywhere..." for a slightly awkward
> avoidance of "can be," which may seem passive.

I know that you are adamantly opposed to the use of
"you" but I still find it hard to believe that you
consider these rewrites clearer and easier for the
reader to comprehend than the original sentences.

To each his or her own, I guess... Our styles are
so different that it's probably a very good thing
that we don't work at the same company as writer/

-- Janice

Janice Gelb janice -dot- gelb -at- sun -dot- com

The only connection Sun has with
this message is the return address


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RE: Grammar Q: From: Lauren

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