RE: Department of Redundancy Department

Subject: RE: Department of Redundancy Department
From: "Sam Beard" <sbeard -at- oico -dot- com>
To: "technical writing plus" <doc-x -at- earthlink -dot- net>, <techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com>
Date: Thu, 10 Jul 2008 15:52:58 -0500

Jim,

Thanks much for the suggestion! You're right in that I had already
re-written the offending passage. Since there was a Caution directly
above stating to use only the external desktop power supply, I simply
stated:

Plug the power supply cord into the autosampler power connector.

...and I included a photo of the rear of the autosampler with a
call-out to the power connector.

Samuel I. Beard, Jr.
Technical Writer
OI Analytical
979 690-1711 Ext. 222
sbeard -at- oico -dot- com


-----Original Message-----
From: techwr-l-bounces+sbeard=oico -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
[mailto:techwr-l-bounces+sbeard=oico -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com] On Behalf
Of technical writing plus
Sent: Thursday, July 10, 2008 2:17 PM
To: techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
Subject: RE: Department of Redundancy Department

I'm sure that you have cleaned it up better that I could. But still, I'm
going to give you a glimpse into my thought process as I attempt to edit
such a thing.

Right, technically speaking, the facts may have been correct but
technically
speaking there was too many of them and reading such text gives people
headaches.

If I say 'Just plug it in' -- then the problem is that the reader might
not
know what I'm talking about.

It does looks like I ought to use 'autosampler' and 'power supply' and
'back
panel'. So here is my first real attempt to rebuild that sentence.

[First, use the correct power supply.] Plug the [correct] power supply
into
the jack that is on [at] the back panel of the autosampler unit.

Jim Jones zxlat.translatorscafe.com

Technical Editing | Chinese, German, Spanish to English | Other

-----Original Message-----
Sam Beard presented

...revising a manual from before my time here, making some fairly
minor edits. However, I ALWAYS review the manuals I'm revising here,
reading them word for word, and I usually, if not always, catch some
sort of error that wasn't in the set of redlines handed to me. Take this
gem, for example:

Plug the external desktop power supply cord of the voltage-specific
external desk-top power supply supplied with the autosampler into the
power connector located on the autosampler back panel.

Now, this was step 1 of a four step process on plugging in an
autosampler and connecting it to the main unit, in a section called
Establishing External Connections. Right before this was a Warning and a
Caution about using the supplied power supply. While not technically an
error, isn't this a WONDERFUL example of technical writing?!

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References:
Department of Redundancy Department: From: Sam Beard
RE: Department of Redundancy Department: From: technical writing plus

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