RE: Coworker who won't take no for an answer

Subject: RE: Coworker who won't take no for an answer
From: Julia Cemer <jcemer -at- wavelink -dot- com>
To: "'Blount, Patricia A'" <Patricia -dot- Blount -at- ca -dot- com>, "techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com" <techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com>
Date: Tue, 29 Jul 2008 10:02:35 -0600

This is a hard situation to be in and I find myself in some kind of a similar one. Maybe I am just too passive, but it is hard to want to bring down the wrath (so to speak) on someone that you have to work with every day. I'm considering going to HR over the same type of thing but am hesitant because I know it will make it impossible to work with the person involved.

I think it is more delicate than immediately running to your manager or telling little white lies or even flat-out saying "I'll never be interested; leave me alone." These types of people are difficult to work with while you are in that type of situation, but even worse when they've been rejected. And even worse when they've been rejected AND sent to HR. Yeah, it shouldn't be that way, but that is the reality of my experiences. Said person hasn't done enough to be fired, but is just jaded enough to make your working environment miserable. Should I/you feel bad about it? Of course not, but if I am are working with the guy every day, he has sign-off and he's making it difficult because I embarrassed him or said no, I can end up feeling like I should feel bad about it...that maybe it would have been easier to just live with him. At least then he'd review the stuff like he is supposed to.

I wish I could say something that helped more. I'm trying to figure out what to do too. Good luck.


-----Original Message-----
From: techwr-l-bounces+jcemer=wavelink -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com [mailto:techwr-l-bounces+jcemer=wavelink -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com] On Behalf Of Blount, Patricia A
Sent: Tuesday, July 29, 2008 7:50 AM
To: techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
Subject: Coworker who won't take no for an answer

Good morning, all,

I find myself in a precarious situation and wondered if you might advise
me...

I have a SME, a subject matter expert with review and sign-off
responsibility for a guide I'm writing. He is a gifted programmer, a
brilliant young guy probably in his late twenties. He's also very pushy.


Since the start of this project, he's suggested - more than once - that
I should bring my teenage sons to his favorite Saturday afternoon haunt,
a local hobby shop. At the risk of sounding full of myself, it is
embarrassingly obvious to me and to all of my cubicle neighbors that he
has a crush.

My sons have zero interest in this particular hobby and even if my boys
enjoyed the activity, we would NOT attend for that reason alone. I am
doing my best to discourage his attentions.

He will not let the matter drop. He presses and pushes and even went so
far as to call my mothering skills into question, suggesting that I am
doing my sons a disservice by not forcing them into the shop. It may end
up broadening their horizons and changing their lives.

I've tried the obvious solutions - excusing myself, running off to
meetings, picking up the telephone. I was even honest and told him
outright my sons think his hobby is pretty lame. This was yesterday,
after the tenth time he brought up the subject. He all but printed out
resumes for the four people who own the store, explaining that a public
defender, a published author, a former cop and a computer programmer are
not nerds.

Sigh.

I'm dangerously close to losing my temper with him, which prompts this
email to you. How can I shut him up without jeopardizing this project?

Thank you all.
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Help & Manual is the most powerful authoring tool for technical
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References:
Coworker who won't take no for an answer: From: Blount, Patricia A

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