RE: Is there a better way to word this?

Subject: RE: Is there a better way to word this?
From: "Handy, David" <dhandy -at- Informatica -dot- com>
To: "Janice Gelb" <Janice -dot- Gelb -at- Sun -dot- COM>, <techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com>
Date: Thu, 11 Jun 2009 10:06:31 +0100

Hard to give a concrete answer without seeing the pages and knowing the
context, but here are two more cents:

* I wouldn't use "returns" or "reappears" unless you can be certain
that the user has visited the page in question recently.

* I'd 86 "reappears" as it makes the step sound like a magic trick (to
me).

* Is this instruction part of a (numbered) procedure? Is it particularly
relevant that the user is told the identity of the page they'll see when
they click x?
To put that another way, can you just say
"Click x to open the Y page."
"Click x to return to the Y page."
"Click x. Click Y."
Omit needless word and all that.

* Whatever you do, avoid the passive voice(!)

Hope this helps,
David

-----Original Message-----
From: techwr-l-bounces+dhandy=informatica -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
[mailto:techwr-l-bounces+dhandy=informatica -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com] On
Behalf Of Janice Gelb
Sent: 11 June 2009 00:19
To: techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
Subject: Re: Is there a better way to word this?

Borowik, Kristy <Kristy_Borowik -at- lcca -dot- com> wrote:
>
> I really hate it when manuals say something like: "Click the x link,
> and you will be returned to the x page." It's the "and you will be
> returned to" part that bothers me, or when people say "Click this link

> and you will be taken to (whatever)." Is there a better way to say
> that? After all, the users never leave their seats! :)
>
> I was thinking maybe something like: "The x page reappears." Any other

> suggestions?
>

"Click the X link to return to the X page."
"Clicking the X link brings you back to the X page."

or just

"Click X to return to the X page."
"Clicking X brings you back to the X page."

-- Janice

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Janice Gelb | The only connection Sun has with
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References:
RE: Is there a better way to word this?: From: Brian.Henderson
Re: Is there a better way to word this?: From: Janice Gelb

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