Re[2]: Flames?

Subject: Re[2]: Flames?
From: Karla McMaster <mcmaster%pcmail -dot- cti-pet -dot- com -at- CTI-PET -dot- COM>
Date: Fri, 15 Jul 1994 14:10:29 EST

About flaming, Andreas said:

> It seems to me that it is mostly along gender lines: the women pleading
> for us to get along and the guys sneering "mine is faster than yours." The
> women may feel hurt or insulted, but for us guys, it's just part of
> talking. (mine does happen to be faster, so there! :)

I thought this post was very interesting, Andreas, because I'd noted the gender
differences, myself, and was considering a post to that effect. If you all
haven't read Deborah Tannen's _You Just Don't Understand_, I heartily recommend
it! She talks about one of the primary differences in communication styles
between men and women being that men tend to focus on the message, while women
tend to focus on the metamessage (e.g., if he disagrees, he must think badly of
me). Also, men's conversation tends to be competitive (I think _mine's_ faster
than yours, Andreas!), while women's tends to be concensus-building.

Perhaps these style differences are showing up in this debate...

BTW, has anyone read the article Tannen wrote in Newsweek about men and women
on the internet? Does anyone know the date? I'd like to look into it...

Karla McMaster, technical writer
CTI PET Systems, Inc., Knoxville, TN
mcmaster -at- cti-pet -dot- com

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