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On 9/1/94, Grant Davison <GDAVISO -at- C30 -dot- NCEL -dot- NAVY -dot- MIL> lamented:
I am having trouble with my writing style. My boss wants better
transitions between my sentences. However, I am also trying to do two
things: write in the active voice and write short sentences. He
describes my writing as herky-jerky or abrupt.
Grant, if it's any consolation to you, transitions are a killer,
period. I find them difficult; I also recognize them as vital to
keeping the reader reading when the material is difficult, abstract,
or technical. I applaud your goal of active voice and short
sentences; however, I agree that this sentence style can seem abrupt
or choppy. I would suggest that organization of the flow of ideas or
key points would be the most helpful.