Re: Need Help with Wording!

Subject: Re: Need Help with Wording!
From: Loren Castro <lfc -at- SOL -dot- CHINALAKE -dot- NAVY -dot- MIL>
Date: Tue, 4 Apr 1995 07:52:41 -0700

From Sue Gallagher:

> If you have more than one file vault defined, the menu
> cascades to display the file vault names. Select the
> ^^^^^^^^^^
> vault in which the file for which you want to change
> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
> the number of versions resides.
> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^


All these "for whiches" and "in whiches" remind me of Churchill's
famous statement about prepositions. You know the one: ". . . up with
which I will not put." I like Joanna's two suggestions:


> "Select the vault that contains the file for which you
> want to change the number of versions."

> If you've already made it VERY clear to the user that
> s/he is looking for the file in order to change the
> number of its versions, you might be able to say, simply:
> "Select the vault that contains the appropriate file."

lfc (Except that I don't like "s/he.")


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