Re: leave it in the locker room

Subject: Re: leave it in the locker room
From: Karen Mayer <Karen_Mayer -dot- TOUCH_TECHNOLOGY -at- NOTES -dot- COMPUSERVE -dot- COM>
Date: Tue, 27 Jun 1995 17:00:55 EDT

Due to an unexpected response to this issue, I must jump in and give my
opinion. I thought it a personal issue between the individuals who were
offended and those whose behavior the former found offensive, but Stacey
has insisted on bringing it before us all.

The recent tendency to take compliments and blow them out of proportion
serves to undermine the justice we seek in dealing with REAL cases of
harrassment. As a victim of harassment on two different jobs, I can tell
the difference between someone calling me bright and acknowledging me as
a female and someone trying to touch me inappropriately or making
suggestive and rude comments. If we don't draw a _reasonable_ line for
appropriate behavior, people will be afraid to even say hello or speak to
each other anymore. Let's get real, folks! I would never consider a
compliment such as "bright lassie" to be anything but a kind gesture from
a nice colleague. The rest of the post in question was professional in
nature.
This victim mentality is crippling to us all. I feel the best way to deal
with supposed harrassment is to ask for clarification. If we are not
communicating effectively, perhaps feelings can be hurt and people can be
offended. If something someone says bothers us, we can bring it to their
attention and ask for clarification, rather than scream about imagined
injustices.

My two pennies, for all they're worth.

-- km


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