HUMOR: Computer Messages

Subject: HUMOR: Computer Messages
From: Cathy Luther <cluther -at- UNM -dot- EDU>
Date: Sun, 2 Jul 1995 08:27:04 -0600

I know-I know: I know I'll get a "not-pertiment-to-list-discussion"
messages, but this might be really good for those
Monday-you-have-to-work-before-a-holiday blues, or what-have-you.


Cathy
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Email: cluther -at- unm -dot- edu


---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Fri, 30 Jun 1995 12:40:15 -0600 (MDT)
From: Katze <kluther -at- unm -dot- edu>
To: cathy luther <cluther -at- unm -dot- edu>
Subject: Cool, way Cool!!! (fwd)

>Hey computer geeks,
>My co-worker just sent me these...I think you will find them pretty funny!
>Wendi
>> >> Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.
>> >> COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key
>> >> Buy a Pentium/90 so you can reboot faster.
>> >> 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
>> >> Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
>> >> Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
>> >> My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
>> >> C:\WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\GO C:\PC\CRAWL
>> >>
>> >> <-------- The information went data way -------->
>> >> Best file compression around: "DEL *.*" = 100% compression
>> >> The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.
>> >>!! BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding
>> >> The name is Baud......, James Baud.
>> >> BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!
>> >> Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!
>> >> C:\> Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
>> >> Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay..
>> >> Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!"
>> >> As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
>> >> Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)
>> >> Backups? We don' *NEED* no steenking backups.
>> >> E Pluribus Modem
>> >> ... File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
>> >> Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny (HEY!!!)
>> >> A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available.
>> >> An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting.
>> >> CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/n)?
>> >> Does fuzzy logic tickle?
>> >> A computer's attention span is as long as its power cord.
>> >> 11th commandment - Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium.
>> >> 24 hours in a day...24 beers in a case...coincidence?
>> >> Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
>> >> Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
>> >> SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .
>> >> Who's General Failure & why's he reading my disk?
>> >> Ultimate office automation: networked coffee.
>> >> RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure.
>> >> Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...
>> >> All computers wait at the same speed.
>> >> DEFINITION: Computer - A device designed to speed and automate errors.
>> >> Press <CTRL>-<ALT>-<DEL> to continue ...
>> >> Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....
>> >> Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
>> >> ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
>> >> Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!!!
>> >> All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
>> >> "640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981
>> >> DOS Tip #17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS
>> >> Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS
>> >> Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!
>> >> Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
>> >> Excuse me for butting in, but I'm interrupt-driven.
>> >> REALITY.SYS corrupted: Reboot universe? (Y/N/Q)
>> >> Sped up my XT; ran it on 220v! Works greO?_~"
>> >> Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)
>> >> Read my chips: No new upgrades!
>> >> 2400 Baud makes you want to get out and push!!
>> >> I hit the CTRL key but I'm still not in control!
>> >> Will the information superhighway have any rest stops?
>> >> Disk Full - Press F1 to belch.
>> >> Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (T)hrowup
>> >> Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
>> >> (A)bort, (R)etry, (T)ake down entire network?
>> >> (A)bort, (R)etry, (G)et a beer?
>> >> Programmers don't die, they just GOSUB without RETURN.
>> >> Programmer - A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing with
>> >> inanimate objects.
>> >> Real programmers don't document. If it was hard to write, it should be
>> >> hard to understand.
>>
>__________________________________________
>Wendi M. Dreesen
>NIS-1, MS 466
>Los Alamos National Laboratory
>665-3147, 667-1055
>windex -at- sstcx1 -dot- lanl -dot- gov
>__________________________________________



------------------------------
Eric A. Lemay

(ealemay -at- hrsun -dot- lan -dot- gov)

(505) 665 3917

CST-9 Radio Chemestry

Los Alamos National Lab
------------------------------


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