GOOD HUMOR - BAD ADS

Subject: GOOD HUMOR - BAD ADS
From: "Tsigaridis, Vicki" <VTsigari -at- VITGCAB4 -dot- TELECOM -dot- COM -dot- AU>
Date: Fri, 31 May 1996 09:54:00 EST

I have been enjoying the posts and thought you might like some funnies sent
to me by a British contractor working in Australia.
2 female Boston Terrier puppies, 7 wks old, Perfect markings, 555-1234.
Leave mess.

Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.

A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by
waitresses in appetizing forms.

Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.

For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large
drawers.

Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.

Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take
home, too.

Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.

Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.

We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

For Sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.

For Sale -- Eight puppies from a German Shepperd and an Alaskan Hussy.

Great Dames for sale.

Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.

Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.

Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the
lovely pool while you drink it all in.

Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.

Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically
burns toast.

Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of
women wear nothing else.

Stock up and save. Limit: one.

For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.

Man, honest. Will take anything.

Wanted: chambermaid in rectory. Love in, $200 a month. References
required.

Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.

UsedCars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first! ***

Christmans tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.

Wanted: Hair-cutter. Excellent growth potential.

Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.

3-year-old teacher need for pre-school. Experience preferred.

Our experienced Mom will care of your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks
included.

Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.

Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never
go anywhere again.

Illiterate? Write today for free help.

Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and
salary.

Wanted. Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general
housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.
????

And now, the Superstore--unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled
inconvenience.

We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.

Do you have any funnies? Mail me on VTSIGARI -at- VITGCAB4 -dot- TELECOM -dot- COM -dot- AU

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