HUMOR: Support hell

Subject: HUMOR: Support hell
From: Kris Olberg <kjolberg -at- IX -dot- NETCOM -dot- COM>
Date: Sat, 16 Nov 1996 20:12:59 -0800

>>So you think you're computer-illiterate? Check out the following
>>excerpts from a Wall Street Journal article by Jim Carlton --
>>1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to
>>"Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the
>>"Any" key is.
>>2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was
>>hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be
>>the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
>>3. Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining
>>that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old
>>diskettes. After trouble- shooting for magnets and heat failed to
>>diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labeled the
>>diskettes then rolled them into the typewriter to type the labels.
>>4. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective
>>diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along
>>with Xeroxed copies of the floppies.
>>5. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy
>>back in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech to
>>hold on, and was heard putting the phone down, getting up and
>>crossing the room to close the door to his room.
>>6. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer
>>to fax anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the technician
>>discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in
>>front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.
>>7. Another Dell customer needed help setting up a new program, so a
>>Dell tech suggested he go to the local Egghead. "Yeah, I got me a
>>couple of friends, "the customer replied. When told Egghead was a
>>software store, the man said, "Oh, I thought you meant for me to find
>>a couple of geeks."
>>8. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no
>>longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and
>>water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys
>>and washing them individually.
>>9. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged
>>because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid". The
>>tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid"
>>responses shouldn't be taken personally.
>>10. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get
>>her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was
>>plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the
>>power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal
>>and nothing happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the
>>computer's mouse.
>>11. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new
>>computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it
>>in, and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When
>>asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What
>>power switch?"
>>12. True story from a Novell NetWire SysOp:
>>Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
>>Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
>>Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty
>>period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
>>Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
>>Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
>>Tech: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped. It's because I am.
>>Did you receive this as part of a promotional, at a trade show? How
>>did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"
>>Caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a
>>promotional. It just has '4X' on it."
>>At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he couldn't
>>stand it. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM
>>drive as a cup holder, and snapped it off the drive!

kjolberg -at- ix -dot- netcom -dot- com (preferred)
kjolberg -at- aol -dot- com
kjolberg -at- msn -dot- com
kolberg -at- actamed -dot- com
102031 -dot- 3556 -at- compuserve -dot- com
s -dot- othoudt -at- worldnet -dot- att -dot- net

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