Re: ISO 9000

[Janice Gelb <janiceg -at- MARVIN -dot- ENG -dot- SUN -dot- COM>]

Well, given this subject, I can't resist sharing this piece of email
humor, which I hope everyone will agree is on-topic:

>Date: Tue, 30 Sep 97 16:12:00 -0500
>From: Jim Kobrinetz <lab3 -at- tensile -dot- com>
>Organization: Tensile Testing Inc.
>Subject: Stupid ISO Tricks
>
>The problem with ISO auditors is that, while they must be conversant with
>the latest statistical quality methods, and with paper trails and all that,
>they often don't know spit about methods and processes (the theory behind
>ISO 9000 being that paper trail and traceability are all that count).
>A company that supplies hardware and software for chemical analysis of
>materials using optical spectrometry received a call from one of their
>customers one day.  The president of the company picked up the call
>(optical spectrometry relies on the wavelength emitted by a material
>when excited; this wavelength is a characteristic of the material).
>
>The customer:  We have an iso auditor here, and he wants to know what
>I am supposed to do if the wavelength changes.
>
>The president:  You mean if the mercury profile (one of the fine
>adjustments) changes?
>
>Customer:  I don't think so.  You talk to him.
>
>The Auditor:  What do you do if the wavelength changes?
>
>President:  What do you mean?
>
>Auditor:  You have a table here.  It says that chromium has a certain
>wavelength.  What do you do if it changes?
>
>President:  Then God is dead, and WE DON'T CARE!
>

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Janice Gelb                  | The only connection Sun has with this
janice -dot- gelb -at- eng -dot- sun -dot- com      | message is the return address.
http://www.geocities.com/Area51/8018/index.html

"Editor: Someone whose job requires the knowledge that `carpe diem'
is not the fish of the day."

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