HUMOR: Top 10 Things to do Your First Day at Work

Subject: HUMOR: Top 10 Things to do Your First Day at Work
From: Andrew Plato <intrepid_es -at- yahoo -dot- com>
To: Techwrl-l <techwr-l -at- lists -dot- raycomm -dot- com>
Date: Wed, 23 Feb 2000 10:21:15 -0800 (PST)

10. Meet all your co-workers. Describe how skilled and competent you are
because you wrote a document, once, a long time ago that might have actually
been read.

9. Locate the coffee machine. You'll be spending a lot of time here so stake
out your own place next to the machine where you can lean against a counter or
chair while describing how the company fails to compensate you adequately.

8. Place a large salami in your cubicle and leave it there all day. Its

7. Don't forget to correct your co-worker's spelling, grammar, and choice of
clothing the moment you meet them. This demonstrates what an exacting little
shithead you are.

6. Take a long lunch to contemplate all the ways you're going to fix that

5. When reviewing the documents other writers have produced, make comments like
"this is horrible" "you people are hopeless" and "how did you ever survive with
out me." This kind of honesty will help facilitate open lines of

4. Criticize things you don't know about.

3. Explain how your time-honored process for producing documentation must be
immediately adopted otherwise you'll have to re-consider your employment.

2. Send out 100s of emails your first day describing your every thought about
the company. Make sure to CC all the upper management.

..and the number 1 thing to do your first day of work...

1. Get busy dying, or get busy living. It's your choice.
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