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I think the best way to deal with this situation is to carefully document the situation: Your expectations of the employee, and how they didn't meet those expectations. Make sure the expectations are clear by having the person paraphrase them or otherwise indicate that they understand. Then if they can't or won't deliver, document that. Eventually if things don't work out you have a record of what happened that is as objective as possible. This can help them learn from the experience (if they are so inclined) and makes a case for you, if there's any legal fallout. Don't try to do therapy; therapists are trained to deal with denial and manipulation. Hitting bottom in the real world is a valuable wakeup call and it's your job to be the floor.
Martha Silverspring
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