Gender Issues - slightly OT but oh well

Subject: Gender Issues - slightly OT but oh well
From: "Cindy K. Kight" <Cindy -dot- Kight -at- Marconi -dot- com>
To: "TECHWR-L" <techwr-l -at- lists -dot- raycomm -dot- com>
Date: Fri, 20 Apr 2001 16:25:02 -0700

Of course, outside of the workplace the whole gender-based fixed-idea thing
gets even weirder.

One day while starting to make pasta, like I had done hundreds of times
before, my husband said, "You know, you should put salt in the water when
you boil it." Normally, I would've answered, like always, "I know, honey.
I already did."

Then it dawned on me, after over 15 years of marriage this guy didn't even
trust my ability to boil water by myself! Forget that I'd been boiling
water since I was seven - don't even mention that I know what happens
chemically to make it boil faster when you put salt in it.

My friends and I got to laughing - women who managed large budgets were
constantly reminded about how to do basic math, women who organized huge
events had husbands supervising how they packed lunches, men who never did
ANY laundry were reminding wives to sort the colors (like they were the
experts - ha!) We were all just too easy-going to make an issue of it, but
we recognized it as a peculiarity with some men that they seemed to feel it
was their duty to tell others what to do and how to do it, regardless of the
circumstances. (I recognize that there are women who treat their husbands
in a similar fashion - it's a personality issue more than a sexist issue.)

Now that I'm happily on my own, my one requirement for a new mate is this:
I want someone who will trust me to boil water in my own kitchen without
feeling compelled to give me instructions. Sadly, that's harder to find
than it sounds. But I'm still hopeful.

Cindy Kight

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