Contact off-list/on-list (was Re: SLAVE labor?...)

Subject: Contact off-list/on-list (was Re: SLAVE labor?...)
From: Emily Berk <emily -at- armadillosoft -dot- com>
To: "TECHWR-L" <techwr-l -at- lists -dot- raycomm -dot- com>
Date: Sat, 29 Jun 2002 07:24:33 -0700

On Fri, 28 Jun 2002 11:58:27 -0400, "Dick Margulis " <margulis -at- mail -dot- fiam -dot- net> wrote:
>I have a way of irritating some people--especially those who don't actually read what I write. That's not a surprise and not what I'm writing about at the moment, however.
>The question I have relates to corresponding with such individuals. One participant in this list told me, "Never write to me off-list again, and I think you know why." Well, I never wrote to that person again, on or off-list; but I still don't know why. Others have said, in essence, "How dare you respond to me on-list! And I think you know why."
>So here's my question. And I hope all those who have decided to hate me for things I never said take this opportunity to reply to me, either on- or off-list: ...

Hey Dick (and others):

When I was young, I read a book about Quakers (maybe the book was How Green Was My Valley???). In the book, the mother tells her child, who has just told her the he/she? hates his/her vegetables or something, "Thou shall not hate anything, let alone mere vegetables."

As someone who responded with considerable fervor to one of your recent posts, I wanted to let you know that I never even contemplated hating you. I don't know anything about you except that you posted something on techwr-l.

It seems to me that if you post a message to a list, then I post to that list in response, it's because I am interested in communicating with the list, and I'm not all that interested in communicating with you one-on-one.

On the other hand, if I reply off-list to something you posted, it's because I am specifically interested in communicating with you and I probably do not intend that you forward my off-list words to the list. So, if I do see my off-list words forwarded to the list, I am likely to become offended.

However, I do understand that email is just a flow of electrons and once those electrons leave my keyboard, I cannot control where they flow. I personally am not going to hate you if you forward anyone's off-list electrons to the list; but I probably will not send any off-list thoughts to you, positive or negative.

I myself receive mostly very pleasant and supportive off-list messages in response to various posts I've made to techwr-l. If and when I choose to forward those messages to the list, I try to verify that the sender would not mind the forward. I usually respond to particularly disgusting off-list messages by forwarding them to the list moderator.


~ Emily Berk ~
~ On the web at *** Armadillo Associates, Inc. ~
~ Internet and non-internet application development, project ~
~ management, developer relations and extremely-technical technical ~
~ documentation that developers find useful. ~

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