Re: Do I have a right to feel POed??

Subject: Re: Do I have a right to feel POed??
From: "Jonathan West" <jwest -at- mvps -dot- org>
To: "TECHWR-L" <techwr-l -at- lists -dot- raycomm -dot- com>
Date: Thu, 22 Aug 2002 21:21:44 +0200

Hi Karen,

OK, 2 things to distnguish here.

1. Your inward feelings.
2. Your outward expression of them.

Inwardly, yes. Anger, annoyance, irritation. Whatever variety of word
indicates your form of upset. You'll feel it. Don't try to deny that fact
that you feel it, that won't help.

Outwardly is a bit of a different matter. First of all hiding it altogether
is not appropriate. Doing that does nothing to help make sure the same thing
won't happen next time.

Neither does letting it out in an uncontrolled fashion help. They'll ignore
it and put it down to hormones. And you're still no further forward.

So, the question is how to channel it into a constructive expression that
might achieve something. I don't know your work colleagues or your working
relationship with them, so at this point it becomes harder to offer helpful
ideas. Others have offered a range of them, and probably among them is
something that would suit you.

When choosing an approach, think of the objective. By the sound of it, it
seems to be partly to remind them of your personal existence, and partly to
remind them of the importance of the work of your department in terms of the
product as a whole. Both are perfectly valid objectives.

One suggestion when selecting the approach. Give the boss an easy line of
retreat. Perhaps suggest to him a reason which might have led to him to omit
you from the meeting, possibly a simple oversight, or an assumption that as
you would be off on maternity leave by then it wouldn't matter to you, or
forgetfullness of the importance of documentation. The trick is to make it
clear that the reason is understood for that one occasion, but that it's not
a valid excuse for the future now it has been brought to his attention.

Jonathan West

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Do I have a right to feel POed??: From: Karen Gloor

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