[humor]: TW revenge

Subject: [humor]: TW revenge
From: Matthew Horn <mhorn -at- macromedia -dot- com>
To: "TECHWR-L" <techwr-l -at- lists -dot- raycomm -dot- com>
Date: Wed, 2 Oct 2002 13:18:34 -0400


I was outside enjoying the day and started musing. If I didn't like the engineers I worked with, how would I go about getting back at them (note: I really like them, but I am drawing on past experience and current observations):

- Send out chapters for review as *.FM files.

- Announce there are bagels outside your office and then put out an empty Honey Dew box.

- Set up an autoreply to everything that says "I don't get it."

- Offer cash prizes for whoever makes the product work.

- Borrow all the engineer's books and take them home.

- Tell them you could hack something together in Perl that would be twice as good.

- Demand that the product be implemented in SmallTalk.

- Ask them to write a use case for web services.

- Mention that the engineering group is being outsourced to India.

- Spread rumours that there will be a dress code.

- Smoke a cigarette and eat an onion bagel before a one-on-one meeting with the lead engineer.

- Tell them the doc no longer supports Unix/Linux.

- Dress well.

- Arrive late for all meetings and spend most of your time trying to get the overhead projector to work with your iMac.

- Enter vague bug reports.

- Set up meetings about feature specs and don't invite the engineers.

- Change your title to "Chief Petty Officer".

- Give docs for review at noon and say you need it back in an hour. Then go to their manager.

- Kick off a new build of the project every time you correct a spelling mistake.

- Write a chapter about a feature you _wish_ was in the product.


--------

Matthew J. Horn
Sr. Technical Writer
< m a c r o m e d i a >

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