Re: Seeking critiques on updated Web site

Subject: Re: Seeking critiques on updated Web site
From: "M Page" <mpage -at- csl -dot- co -dot- uk>
To: "TECHWR-L" <techwr-l -at- lists -dot- raycomm -dot- com>
Date: Wed, 24 Mar 2004 09:52:06 -0000

Well, since you asked....

Nicely turned out but rather wordy with chunky paragraphs. The burger
anecdote/exemplar made the point nicely, but could have been terser and
punchier... more journalistic perhaps.

My main reservation is the style:

On a quick read through, some of the language seemed a little too erudite
and leisurely: IMHO techwriters should avoid anything that risks validating
the stereotype of being over-educated, arty, pedantic, intellectually
intimidating, or in love with their own words.

Some people may well feel that using a techwriter is an admission of
failure - after all, everybody else can knock out a manual "with one hand
tied behind their back", can't they?

Though highly educated and intelligent, potential clients may also feel
insecure about areas outside their speciality. For example, a prospective
client of a friend of mine asked in nervous jest, "Will you be like my
English teacher, and send back the original manual covered in red pen?"

More importantly, they'll want to feel that they can comprehend the project
enough to control it - that you won't baffle and bamboozle them with clever

However, this depends on your target market. YMMV

Good luck
"Even swords need user manuals"

"Steven Oppenheimer" <Steven -at- OppenheimerCommunications -dot- com> wrote in message
news:233217 -at- techwr-l -dot- -dot- -dot-
> Last night I uploaded a completely re-designed Web site for Oppenheimer
> Communications, at . Anyone who wants
> to take a pick and give a quick impression, that would be appreciated.
> can reply off-list at Steven -at- OpComm -dot- com -dot- FYI, the site is not yet
> -- I plan to add Case Studies, Testimonials, and some more stuff on my
> philosophy of technical writing -- but I felt I had enough done to go
> and put my image out there in the world. (I also plan to add more
> graphics over time.) Looking forward to your comments.
> Thanks,
> Steve O.
> Steven Oppenheimer
> Oppenheimer Communications
> Technical and Business Writing: From Complexity To Clarity
> Steven -at- OpComm -dot- com (301) 468-9233


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