RE: Free, powerful graphics tool

Subject: RE: Free, powerful graphics tool
From: "Watson Laughton" <wlaughton -at- orphan -dot- com>
To: "TECHWR-L" <techwr-l -at- lists -dot- raycomm -dot- com>
Date: Wed, 9 Jun 2004 14:04:44 -0500

>>Even if you aren't susceptible to full-blown paranoia, why on
>>earth would you want to help companies to gain such information?

It might come in useful when ordering a pizza:

Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national
ID number?"

Customer: "Hi, I'd like to place an order."

Operator: "I must have your NIDN first, sir?"

Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's

Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742
Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office
number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's
266-2566. Email address is sheehan@ Which number are you
calling from, sir?"

Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"

Operator: "We're wired into the HSS, sir."

Customer: "The HSS, what is that?"

Operator: "We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir.
This will add only 15 seconds to your ordering time"

Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of
your All-Meat Special pizzas."

Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."

Customer: "Whaddya mean?"

Operator: "Sir, your medical records and commode sensors
you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high
cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow
such an unhealthy choice."

Customer: "What?!?! What do you recommend, then?"

Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure
you'll like it."

Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"

Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes'
from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the

Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized

Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your
four kids, and your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your
total is $49.99."

Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay
in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit."

Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before
your driver gets here."

Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking
account's overdrawn also."

Customer: "Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the

How long will it take?"

Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about
45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick
'em up
you're out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a
can be a little awkward."

Customer: "Wait! How do you know I ride a scooter?"

Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car
payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for
and you just filled the tank yesterday"

Customer: Well I'll be a "@#%/$@&?#!"

Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've
already got a July 4, 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop
and another one I see here on September for contempt at your
hearing for cussing at a judge." "Oh yes I see here that you
just got out from a 90 day stay in
the State Correctional Facility. Is this your first pizza
since your return to society?

Customer: (Speechless)

Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"

Customer: "Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke".

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause
us from offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution
prohibits this.

Thank you for calling Pizza Hut!"


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