Re: LONG - A colloquial writing style?

[Bill Swallow <techcommdood -at- gmail -dot- com>]

> Instead of:
> 
> "Having entered all of your data on the widget screen,
> proceed to the next task." Yawn....
> 
> Maybe we say:
> 
> "Okay, now that you're done entering all that
> information, you're ready for the next tedious -- but
> important -- step."
> 
> In some cases I think we might wind up with more
> words, but they'd be more digestible, more friendly.
> And that could go a long way to easing people through
> tedious tasks.

Depends on the audience you're writing for, of course. That'd work for
some of our products but not all, and would lend itself to problems in
a single-source environment where info is shared across books.

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