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Julie Harrison wonders: <<Does anyone know of a good reference for
swapping negative phrase for more positive ones?>>
Best reference of all: an editor. <g> Some advice based on 20 years of
working with ESL authors, and the past 5 specializing in working with
Japanese and Chinese clients:
<<We're supporting a CAD designer in China (we're in the UK) who has
been dropped in at the deep end and is struggling with the work she is
being sent. We want to start a kind of befriending scheme where one of
our guys is her main point of contact; he has a good all round
knowledge and could call on others for more specific info, but she
would have one person she could build a relationship with. It must be
so hard, she's on her own, conversing in her second language and really
having to learn fast.>>
Don't understimate the cultural differences. Your "guy" is going to
have to be unusually discreet and polite because Western relationships
between men and women are much more crude and disrespectful (from a
Chinese viewpoint) than she's likely to be familiar or comfortable
with. I'm sure she'll expect this to be the case, but will approach the
situation with considerable trepidation. You can go a long way towards
sabotaging a relationship if you're unaware of this and unwilling to
take great pains to avoid stepping too hard on any toes.
If none of your guys are particularly sensitive (i.e., able to do a
reality check on what they're saying and how they say it), you may want
to pair her with a woman. That's not because women are inherently
better at this kind of conversation (though they may be), but rather
because removing the male-female factor removes one large complication
and thus, removes a large source of confusion and potential trouble.
Make sure that your support guy or gal starts the conversation with "I
don't know anything about Chinese culture, and I hope you'll help me
learn. I'll be very embarrassed at some of the mistakes that I make,
but if you explain these mistakes to me and how to fix them, I'll try
to do a better job." And make sure they really mean it. In China, the
concept of _mianzi_ is vitally important, even today; the term is
loosely translated as "face", but basically what it means is showing
that you have great respect for other people's right to not be
embarrassed publicly (thereby losing face for both of you).
<<Most of the contact will have to be done by email...>>
E-mail offers many advantages, including the chance to save a draft
message and come back to it in an hour to make sure it really says what
you wanted to say, and it gives your Chinese counterpart an opportunity
to make sure she understands and to frame a respectable and respectful
reply. You'd be amazed how much this improves the message.
Remember that e-mail is a form of cultural discourse: we have certain
Western assumptions that don't translate into Chinese culture, and vice
versa. Keep an eye open for anything that "looks weird" in her
messages, and if you're not sure, ask for an explanation. Write
carefully and professionally; many Chinese believe that if they receive
a poorly written message that contains typos, you don't take them or
the communication seriously. That can cause major problems.
<<The guys here are a good bunch, but very down to earth, say it as it
is types.>>
Remind them that this won't fly with many Chinese, particularly in
those early stages while you're still developing a friendly
relationship. Tell them to pretend they're having tea with the Queen of
England and to behave accordingly. <g>
<<I've suggested making sure they use positive phrases to gain her
trust and ensure she feels she can ask for help as often as she needs.
Things like avoiding saying 'don't do it like that' or 'the mistake you
are making is' and swapping those phrase for more positive ones.>>
That's a good start. Direct criticism is very un-Chinese. Perhaps the
contact person can pin a full sheet of paper beside their monitor that
says "Always acknowledge what is right about what the person says, and
provide legitimate compliments (not empty praise) where appropriate,
then suggest another way (your way) to accomplish the same thing." The
message will still be "they wouldn't have suggested this if they didn't
think I was wrong and their way was better", but it's all in how you
send that message.
If you're going to be working with Chinese colleagues, invest a few
bucks in a copy of Scott Seligman's _Chinese Business Etiquette_.
Adhering strictly to his advice will make you seem like a graduate from
the Miss Manners School of Etiquette, but since we _weiguoren_ never
quite "get it" the first several times we work with our Chinese
colleagues, failing to attain that lofty pinnacle means that you still
climb higher than you might otherwise.
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