RE: Sentense construction

Subject: RE: Sentense construction
From: "Lauren" <lt34 -at- csus -dot- edu>
To: "'Combs, Richard'" <richard -dot- combs -at- Polycom -dot- com>, "'Hemang Antani'" <hemang -dot- phenix -at- gmail -dot- com>, <techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com>
Date: Thu, 22 Feb 2007 10:29:36 -0800


I don't like, and was taught to avoid, leading sentences that end in a
colon, unless the bullets complete the leading sentence. In this case, I
would avoid the colon and lead the list with "The points from the meeting

I would also probably, depending on the context of the document, include
some identifier about the meeting in the sentence, whether it is a meeting
name or a date.

Additionally, both of the proposed sentences are acceptable, but sentence 2
does need the comma that Richard pointed out. The differences between the
two sentences are that 1 is "active" voice and 2 is "passive" voice. This
is important to know if someone should mention the voice in the document.


> -----Original Message-----
> From: techwr-l-bounces+lt34=csus -dot- edu -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
> [mailto:techwr-l-bounces+lt34=csus -dot- edu -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com] On
> Behalf Of Combs, Richard
> Sent: Thursday, February 22, 2007 7:35 AM
> To: Hemang Antani; techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
> Subject: RE: Sentense construction
> Hemang Antani wrote:
> > Which of the following sentence construction would be suitable for
> > American
> > readers:
> >
> > (1) Listed below are the points discussed during the meeting.
> >
> > (2) During the meeting we discussed points listed below.
> "During the meeting, we discussed:" -- followed by the bullet list.
> Discard unnecessary words. :-)
> Richard
> ------
> Richard G. Combs
> Senior Technical Writer
> Polycom, Inc.
> richardDOTcombs AT polycomDOTcom
> 303-223-5111
> ------
> rgcombs AT gmailDOTcom
> 303-777-0436
> ------


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