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I vote for #1, as "will appear" does imply some vague timing. I mean,
what if the ABC button is broken? Your user could be there for hours.
I do think that "appears" does have a certain "Amazing Larry and His
Lovely Assistant, Janet" kind of vibe to it. But there aren't many good
alternatives.
"Displays" is troublesome, because it seems awkward when used in the
intransitive. We have information panels that are triggered on mouseover
in our webapp, and I've described the behavior as "The Info Panel is
displayed". While that's passive, it sounds more accurate than "The Info
Panel displays", which leaves me thinking "WHAT does the Info Panel
display?"
Apparently
Chris
-----Original Message-----
From: techwr-l-bounces+cvickery=arenasolutions -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
[mailto:techwr-l-bounces+cvickery=arenasolutions -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com]
On Behalf Of Bryan Sherman
Sent: Thursday, May 03, 2007 9:28 AM
To: Keith Hansen
Cc: techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
Subject: Re: "Appears" vs. "will appear"
One vote for "Appears" sans the "will". I agree that "will appears"
seems unclear on the timing and I'm always a fan of fewer words.
On a slight tangent, I would *love* to hear an argument for displays
over appears that doesn't involve knocking appears for being
"magical". I've never heard a user of my documentation make that
claim, only another Tech Writer. It would be interesting to track down
where the "magical appears" claim first surfaced.
On 5/3/07, Keith Hansen <KRH -at- weiland-wfg -dot- com> wrote:
> I want to canvass your opinions here. Which do you prefer:
>
> No. 1: "Click the ABC button. The XYZ dialog box appears."
> No. 2: "Click the ABC button. The XYZ dialog box will appear."
>
> I prefer "appears." It's more concise (one word vs. two). Also, "will
> appear" sounds like a future prediction, rather than a statement of
what
> occurs. Compare the following:
>
> "The clouds gather. It rains."
> "The clouds gather. It will rain."
>
> Please vote for No. 1 or No. 2. Give reasons for your preference.
>
> Thanks.
>
> Keith
>
> P.S. BTW, I had a colleague who abhorred the use of the word "appears"
> or "will appear." She said it made the process sound magical
> ("Abracadabra! It appears!") So she would write a sentence like this:
>
> "The XYZ dialog box is displayed by the software."
>
> But this is passive voice (if I'm not mistaken; the subject is acted
> upon, rather than acting). So the sentence was then rewritten like
this:
>
> "The software displays the XYZ dialog box."
>
> However, the subject of our sentence (software) is not really the
center
> of our attention here. The center of attention is actually the dialog
> box, which is now shoved to the end of the sentence.
>
> Personally, I can live with "appears"!
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