RE: "Appears" vs. "will appear"

Subject: RE: "Appears" vs. "will appear"
From: "Chris Vickery" <cvickery -at- arenasolutions -dot- com>
To: "Brierley, Sean" <Sean -dot- Brierley -at- ipc -dot- com>, <techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com>
Date: Thu, 3 May 2007 10:12:44 -0700

If you're disagreeing, you're not disagreeing with me. I didn't say the
future tense added any precision.

Chris

-----Original Message-----
From: techwr-l-bounces+cvickery=arenasolutions -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
[mailto:techwr-l-bounces+cvickery=arenasolutions -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com]
On Behalf Of Brierley, Sean
Sent: Thursday, May 03, 2007 10:09 AM
To: techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
Subject: RE: "Appears" vs. "will appear"

I disagree that the use of the future tense adds any precision.

If you are documenting software that has such a bug, then you should add
some troubleshooting steps. If the XYZ dialog box does not open, do the
following:."

If you are documenting software where there is an unusually long delay
between an action and its result (maybe there's actions being taken
against a huge database), then consider being more explicit. Click ABC.
The ZYX dialog box opens. Depending on PQR, the ZYX dialog box can take
several hours to open, go open some tuna. Oh, and feed the cat.

Cheers,

Sean

-----Original Message-----
From: techwr-l-bounces+sean -dot- brierley=ipc -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
[mailto:techwr-l-bounces+sean -dot- brierley=ipc -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com] On
Behalf Of Chris Vickery
Sent: Thursday, May 03, 2007 1:00 PM
To: Bryan Sherman; Keith Hansen
Cc: techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
Subject: RE: "Appears" vs. "will appear"

I vote for #1, as "will appear" does imply some vague timing. I mean,
what if the ABC button is broken? Your user could be there for hours.

I do think that "appears" does have a certain "Amazing Larry and His
Lovely Assistant, Janet" kind of vibe to it. But there aren't many good
alternatives.

"Displays" is troublesome, because it seems awkward when used in the
intransitive. We have information panels that are triggered on mouseover
in our webapp, and I've described the behavior as "The Info Panel is
displayed". While that's passive, it sounds more accurate than "The Info
Panel displays", which leaves me thinking "WHAT does the Info Panel
display?"

Apparently

Chris

-----Original Message-----
From: techwr-l-bounces+cvickery=arenasolutions -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
[mailto:techwr-l-bounces+cvickery=arenasolutions -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com]
On Behalf Of Bryan Sherman
Sent: Thursday, May 03, 2007 9:28 AM
To: Keith Hansen
Cc: techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
Subject: Re: "Appears" vs. "will appear"

One vote for "Appears" sans the "will". I agree that "will appears"
seems unclear on the timing and I'm always a fan of fewer words.

On a slight tangent, I would *love* to hear an argument for displays
over appears that doesn't involve knocking appears for being "magical".
I've never heard a user of my documentation make that claim, only
another Tech Writer. It would be interesting to track down where the
"magical appears" claim first surfaced.

On 5/3/07, Keith Hansen <KRH -at- weiland-wfg -dot- com> wrote:
> I want to canvass your opinions here. Which do you prefer:
>
> No. 1: "Click the ABC button. The XYZ dialog box appears."
> No. 2: "Click the ABC button. The XYZ dialog box will appear."
>
> I prefer "appears." It's more concise (one word vs. two). Also, "will
> appear" sounds like a future prediction, rather than a statement of
what
> occurs. Compare the following:
>
> "The clouds gather. It rains."
> "The clouds gather. It will rain."
>
> Please vote for No. 1 or No. 2. Give reasons for your preference.
>
> Thanks.
>
> Keith
>
> P.S. BTW, I had a colleague who abhorred the use of the word "appears"
> or "will appear." She said it made the process sound magical
> ("Abracadabra! It appears!") So she would write a sentence like this:
>
> "The XYZ dialog box is displayed by the software."
>
> But this is passive voice (if I'm not mistaken; the subject is acted
> upon, rather than acting). So the sentence was then rewritten like
this:
>
> "The software displays the XYZ dialog box."
>
> However, the subject of our sentence (software) is not really the
center
> of our attention here. The center of attention is actually the dialog
> box, which is now shoved to the end of the sentence.
>
> Personally, I can live with "appears"!
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Follow-Ups:

References:
Free software resources: From: David Neeley
"Appears" vs. "will appear": From: Keith Hansen
Re: "Appears" vs. "will appear": From: Bryan Sherman
RE: "Appears" vs. "will appear": From: Chris Vickery
RE: "Appears" vs. "will appear": From: Brierley, Sean

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