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Subject:Step Up to Leader' Post > Tangential Question From:Agnes Starr <zigrocstarr -at- yahoo -dot- com> To:techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com Date:Thu, 13 Sep 2007 11:59:34 -0700 (PDT)
Hello everyone and THANKS - this is very informative.
I want you to know that I really appreciate all advice, even critical, which I dont' take as criticism but as good honest advice.
Many of you wondered if, in the instances I mentioned, it was defiance or the person just knew another better way. In the first instance I am thinking of, probably a little of both. I think she felt she had a better way, that she preferred, but she also said it in a very disrespectful, well - actually - rude way. Kind of like "Just go away and get lost" type thing. In this situation, the person had not had a boss for about a year, and then for a year she had a boss clear across the country. Then I came and was seated right across from her. She was feeling her little world with 100% latitude start to shrink and she resented me for it. I also felt that since I was considerably younger than she was and much more successful, there was jealousy, so she resented me for that reason as well. She did this to the senior tech writers also. All of them were way younger and their positions higher. She spoke to them atrociously.
The second instance I am thinking of, this person is like the 3 year old one of you mentioned. Well, perhaps more of the rebellious teenager. If anyone in authority said 'up,' she said down. If we said 'down,' she'd say 'up.' She had to be contrary. It was definitely NOT, in my opinion a matter of just having a better way to do things. She seemed to need to rebel against authority, and I/we just happened to be the stand-ins (for her parents maybe?) The thing is, she was very good at what she did and I didn't want to let her go - .
Well anyway, all the posts here have been tremendously helpful. I am going to compile them into a file and save it for my next career move which I anticipate will have some leadership requirement. It is very interesting to hear the discussion back and forth and the advice also is helping me to maintain my sense of reality.
And yes, part of it WAS me - it IS never one-sided. I think my anger mgt is/was not where it should be, and also I think there was a button in me getting pushed somewhere. Like if you defy me, then something in me wants to strangle the person, instead of seeing it as "their stuff." So some of it was development in me that needed to be done.
At any rate thanks. These are the things companies don't train you on - they just promote you to a leadership position without giving you these insights for those few problem employees you will inevitably encounter.
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