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Subject:Re: Coworker who won't take no for an answer From:"Dave Kerschbaum" <dave -at- smackdabdesign -dot- com> To:techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com, Patricia -dot- Blount -at- ca -dot- com Date:Tue, 29 Jul 2008 11:15:20 -0400
I don't think lying is called for at all, for the following reasons:
1) It's hard to maintain a lie.
2) If the SME ever finds out about the lie, things get even weirder. Do you
think he'd be happier knowing he's being lied to? It shows a lack of respect
when one lies to another, regardless of the reasons for doing so.
3) There is no reason to lie. The truth is a valid enough reason.
4) Patricia doesn't owe a reason. "No" should stand on its own. For every
reason she gives, the SME will try to figure out a way around that reason.
Even if there is a supposed love interest, and especially if he suspects
that there isn't really one. But no is no.
Harsh or not, I think being direct avoids more problems than being
deceitful. I like PT's suggestion of putting the hand up, and very flatly,
saying no.
dave.
On Tue, Jul 29, 2008 at 11:03 AM, Gina Jones <gina -dot- techwriter -at- gmail -dot- com>wrote:
> *<quote> Perhaps the LWL (little white lie) is called for: Tell him that
> you
> talked
> it over with your sons and your Serious Love Interest, and they you've
> decided as a family that there's just not room in your busy lives for yet
> another time commitment. Perhaps that will get him to realize that the
> object of his affection is not available or interested.
>
> I happen to agree with John in this situation. Don't escalate it unless it
> is absolutely necessary.
>
> Step 1 -- Try John's suggestion.
>
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