RE: Coworker who won't take no for an answer

Subject: RE: Coworker who won't take no for an answer
From: "Sean Brierley" <sbrierley -at- Accu-Time -dot- com>
To: <techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com>
Date: Tue, 29 Jul 2008 16:12:11 -0400

>From the original poster, I have not seen that she clearly indicated
she's not interested in an out-of-work relationship. IMHO, she needs to
say, "not interested." From what I read, she's ducked the direct
communication that is needed.

There's been a fair bit of speculation about HR and harassment and such
but do we really know the context. Are we sure this seemingly dense
suitor wasn't joking when he said, "awwww, come one, bring the kids to
the hobby shop, you're a bad mom if you don't let them go at least once"
versus "you are a terrible mother and neglectful and I'm reporting you
to the state authorities."

I agree the original poster doesn't need to say why or apologize. But,
the unambiguous communication needs to happen. Will HR act if the
original poster hasn't made a clear unambiguous rejection of this guy's
attentions? IMHO, if this guys attentions persist after the unambiguous
communication, then fire his dumb ... self.



-----Original Message-----john -at- garisons -dot- com wrote:
> Perhaps the LWL (little white lie) is called for: Tell him that you
> talked it over with your sons and your Serious Love Interest, and they

> you've decided as a family that there's just not room in your busy
> lives for yet another time commitment. Perhaps that will get him to
> realize that the object of his affection is not available or
> interested.

urk. I disagree.

It doesn't matter if this guy has a crush on Patricia. It doesn't
matter if he's just being friendly and clueless, if he's a pedophile, or

if he thinks she's the lost immortal amazonian princess of Texarkana.
She's not interested. Full stop. End of story.

Conversely, she doesn't owe him an explanation of why she's not
interested. It doesn't need to be that his hobby is lame, that she's
too busy, that he smells funny, or that as the lost immortal amazonian
princess of Texarkana she obviously cannot date a mortal human. She
isn't interested in any kind of a relationship with him outside of work.

Full stop. End of story.

Answering the question of "why" or offering excuses leads to awkward and

pushy attempts at persuasion (as she discovered). There's no reason to
lie. He's a grownup. This is a workplace. The answer is no. If that
doesn't work, say it louder and more often.

If THAT doesn't work, then escalate to management and HR. But you have
to start with no.

ComponentOne Doc-To-Help gives you everything you need to author and
publish quality Help, Web, and print content. Perfect for technical
authors, developers, and policy writers. Download a FREE trial.

True single source, conditional content, PDF export, modular help.
Help & Manual is the most powerful authoring tool for technical
documentation. Boost your productivity!

You are currently subscribed to TECHWR-L as archive -at- web -dot- techwr-l -dot- com -dot-

To unsubscribe send a blank email to
techwr-l-unsubscribe -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
or visit

To subscribe, send a blank email to techwr-l-join -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com

Send administrative questions to admin -at- techwr-l -dot- com -dot- Visit for more resources and info.


Re: Coworker who won't take no for an answer: From: Laura Lemay

Previous by Author: RE: Coworker who won't take no for an answer
Next by Author: RE: Coworker who won't take no for an answer
Previous by Thread: Re: Coworker who won't take no for an answer
Next by Thread: Re: Coworker who won't take no for an answer

What this post helpful? Share it with friends and colleagues:

Sponsored Ads