RE: Example of clear tech-comms and policy guidance writing this good

["McLauchlan, Kevin" <Kevin -dot- McLauchlan -at- safenet-inc -dot- com>]

> -----Original Message-----
> From: 
> techwr-l-bounces+kevin -dot- mclauchlan=safenet-inc -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr
-l.com [mailto:techwr-l-bounces+kevin.mclauchlan=safenet->
inc -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com] On Behalf Of Dan Goldstein
> Sent: Wednesday, March 18, 2009 8:34 AM
> To: techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
> Subject: RE: Example of clear tech-comms and policy guidance 
> writing this good
> 
> Well laid out, but poorly written.
> 
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: Daniel Ng
> > Sent: Wednesday, March 18, 2009 5:42 AM
> > To: techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
> > Subject: Example of clear tech-comms and policy guidance 
> > writing this good
> > 
> > Example of clear technical writing to 
> > support policy making, and education.
> > Nice...


Up to and including page 8, I've found some instances where the writer
should have paid attention to sentence-structure parallelism among
bullet-list points. In fact, some were full sentences while others were
fragments.  But they were obviously bullet points, and they conveyed
their information briskly and without inducing any stumbling on my part.


Other than that breakdown of parallelism (oh, the horror) I found what
Daniel found - good, clear, engaging writing, where somebody obviously
put a lot of thought into both the content and the
organization/presentation of that content.

So, what aspects of the writing offended you?  Do I need to read further
to find them, or did I overlook them already?

 - Kevin
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