RE: Wrong? Poor style? OK?

Subject: RE: Wrong? Poor style? OK?
From: "Combs, Richard" <richard -dot- combs -at- Polycom -dot- com>
To: "Nancy Allison" <maker -at- verizon -dot- net>
Date: Tue, 24 Mar 2009 10:41:41 -0600

Nancy Allison wrote:

> However, the use of a clause introduced by "how" as a direct object is
> what my editor objects to, no doubt about that!

Well, you know better than I how your editor feels about passive
sentences. But if I were the editor, my objections would be to:

-- "There are..."

-- "...test results are saved."

In both clauses, the actor is not the subject. Maybe a minimal rewrite
(making the subject of the action into the subject of the clause) will
illustrate how an active sentence is different from a passive one:

"Two options control how you save test results."

Although I'd prefer to make what's currently the subordinate clause into
the focus of the sentence, as I suggested earlier: "You can save the
test results by..."


Richard G. Combs
Senior Technical Writer
Polycom, Inc.
richardDOTcombs AT polycomDOTcom
rgcombs AT gmailDOTcom


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Re: Wrong? Poor style? OK?: From: Nancy Allison

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