Re: Wording problem! Arrrggh!

Subject: Re: Wording problem! Arrrggh!
From: Marguerite Krupp <mkrupp128 -at- yahoo -dot- com>
To: JessicaWeissman <WeissmanJ -at- abacustech -dot- com>, Nancy Allison <maker -at- verizon -dot- net>, techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com, Monique Semp <monique -dot- semp -at- earthlink -dot- net>
Date: Thu, 9 Jun 2011 08:46:45 -0700 (PDT)

Yeah, that's what I was going to suggest, except I'd change the first two examples in the OP to maintain the parallelism, even at the cost of losing the initial active verb.

Most places I've worked would NEVER admit to fixing a problem (because that would imply that their software was buggy to begin with!), but they would let us say that we'd made an improvement. So we could say, for example, "improved system response time...", but not, "fixed a problem where system crashed...."

Besides, the users don't care what the vendor did; they care what THEY can now DO that they couldn't do before. Shifting the emphasis to the new capability (which a fix is, since it didn't work before!) tells the user exactly that.

Marguerite

--- On Thu, 6/9/11, Monique Semp <monique -dot- semp -at- earthlink -dot- net> wrote:

From: Monique Semp <monique -dot- semp -at- earthlink -dot- net>
Subject: Re: Wording problem! Arrrggh!
To: "Weissman, Jessica" <WeissmanJ -at- abacustech -dot- com>, "Nancy Allison" <maker -at- verizon -dot- net>, techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
Date: Thursday, June 9, 2011, 11:36 AM

Yes, Jessica's wording approach is similar to how I've often done these sorts of notes.

To make it a little (well a lot!) less imaginative and creative, I'd say:

* Print preview now works when no printer is installed.

This does destroy the parallelism, so what I usually do is have several groups of items in the notes:

* Added the following features:
** Windows 7 support

* Enhanced the following functions:
** Faster plot displays

* Addressed the following issues:
** Print preview now works when no printer is installed

-Monique

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References:
Re: Wording problem! Arrrggh!: From: Monique Semp

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