RE: Subtly bad sentence construction

Subject: RE: Subtly bad sentence construction
From: "Robart, Kay" <Kay -dot- Robart -at- tea -dot- texas -dot- gov>
To: Nancy Allison <maker -at- verizon -dot- net>, "techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com" <techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com>
Date: Fri, 29 May 2015 19:02:40 +0000

Yes, of course. The "viewing" is changing the ratio. If they insist on avoiding "you," you're probably stuck with a passive voice sentence. If this is some kind of user guide, generally speaking addressing the user directly engages them more.

Kay

-----Original Message-----
From: techwr-l-bounces+kay -dot- robart=tea -dot- texas -dot- gov -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com [mailto:techwr-l-bounces+kay -dot- robart=tea -dot- texas -dot- gov -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com] On Behalf Of Nancy Allison
Sent: Friday, May 29, 2015 1:59 PM
To: techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
Subject: Subtly bad sentence construction

I am so deep in engineering culture, this sentence almost slipped by
me. (I mean, I am used to engineers torturing their sentences however
they can in order to avoid using "you.")
"When viewing a test result, changing the ratio for the transducer does
not update the velocity trace."
Error: Dangling participle with omitted subject, so that the gerund
becomes the closest thing to a subject. And no, Mr. or Ms. Changing The
Ratio does not view test results.
Do you agree?
I'm getting so jaded, I had to give myself a push . . .
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References:
Subtly bad sentence construction: From: Nancy Allison

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