Re: HTML5, Phones, and Tables
Those with long memories may remember "Great Square Inches in Art," a parody published in Saturday Review in 1963 and read on radio stations WCLV (Cleveland), WCRB (Boston), and WFMT (Chicago) around 1970 and 1980. I had planned to provide a link to the magnificent reading by Robert Conrad of WCLV, but could not find it. Instead, I am going to attempt to put a partial transcription into a subsequent posting.
HERE IT IS! Just in time for viewing Great Art on smartphones.
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Great Square Inches In Art
In our quest for understanding great writings, we have been aided by condensed books and, in our desire to become familiar with the most moving themes in music, we have been helped by abridged recordings. Unhappily, however, we have failed to cultivate a similar appreciation of the visual arts.
It is with pride, therefore, that we announce our new and unique service â GREAT SQUARE INCHES IN ART â a service that may prove to be the most significant cultural advance of the century.
Here is the amazing offer which GREAT SQUARE INCHES OF ART is making. We will send you, for what amounts to pennies a day, the best parts of fifty of the greatest art treasures ever painted. As art authorities recognize, almost every major work of art has one immortal area â usually about five square inches in size â which is so breathtakingly beautiful that it is loved and remembered by everyone, regardless of taste. Our panel of art connoisseurs has skillfully selected just these supreme square inches, cutting out all of the unfamiliar details, backgrounds, shadows. We have taken these exciting and memorable sections and have printed them in rich color and fine paper, creating unsurpassed reproductions, which provide a wonderful adventure in artistic self-education.
Think of it! With this priceless short cut to art knowledge, you will be able to look at the best parts of four or five paintings in the time it would take you to normally view one. Not only will your life and that of your children be immeasurably enriched, but you will quickly begin to amaze your friends and business associates with your profound understanding of the world's most acclaimed achievements in art. For example, one of your favorite artistic experiences is bound to be those square inches from Leonardo's Mona Lisa which contain her beloved and enigmatic smile. We will send you this smile for your very own as one selection in the series. Your portfolio will also include such delights as the matchless symmetrical shell from Botticelli's Birth of Venus; the masterful index finger from Michelangelo's Creation of Adam, just as it appears in the Sistine Chapel; the starkly beautiful pitchfork from Grant Wood's American Gothic; the voluptuous right thigh of Goya's Maja Desnuda (also available in Maja Vestida, if you prefer); a graceful Modigliani neck; a colorful glass of absinthe as painted by the immortal Toulouse-Latrec in the Moulin Rouge; a skillfully executed square of red from a major work of Mondrian; Dali's famous and amusing limp watch; a Rubens buttock; a five-inch square from a notable Jackson Pollack; and oh-so-many more â fifty in all.
We know that it will be hard for you to believe, but all of these exciting and beautiful portions of art, which would cost literally billions if they were cut from the original paintings, are available to you for only $4.95, plus C.O.D. charges and and postage. If you prefer to send your personal check or money order immediately, GREAT SQUARE INCHES IN ART will pay the postage and send you, along with your portfolio and completely free of charge, a beautiful gift for your home â a life size reproduction in genuine simulated marble of the Venus de Milo navel.
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