STYLE:HELP

Subject: STYLE:HELP
From: Bob Morrisette <Robert -dot- Morrisette -at- EBAY -dot- SUN -dot- COM>
Date: Tue, 25 Jul 1995 14:52:35 -0700

Help. Which construction is better? Is the first sentence conditional?


1. ALERT: Look for visible meat fibers when inspecting rawhide chews and dog
toys,. Sniff
the product to find out if it has a strong odor. If you detect either meat
fibers or a strong odor,
the rawhide product is not enterable.

2. ALERT: When inspecting rawhide chews and dog toys, look for visible meat
fibers. Sniff
the product to find out if it has a strong odor. If you detect either meat
fibers or a strong odor,
the rawhide product is not enterable.

This is a controversy in our manual's section. And, we want to get it right.
It's for a manual
agricultural officers use to protect our country's livestock from foreign
pathogens.

Thanks,

a342jpatters -at- attmail -dot- com

=========================================================
I'd use smell instead of sniff. See the dictionary.

Are there invisible meat fibers? I'd delete visible.

enterable is not a real word - is it?

I'd use #2 modified as: ALERT: When you inspect rawhide . . . . .

Bob Morrisette
writer -at- sabu -dot- EBay -dot- Sun -dot- COM


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