THANKS: Dog Chews

Subject: THANKS: Dog Chews
From: John L Patterson <a342jpatters -at- ATTMAIL -dot- COM>
Date: Wed, 26 Jul 1995 10:18:44 -0500

Thanks to all who helped with the "dog chew" controversy. Your helpfulness
benefited our
operation in two ways:

1. We learned the power of TECHWR-L.
2. We benefited from a good learning experience.
3. You reinforced the fact that teamwork pays off.

Here's a summary of what we learned from your comments:

1. Enterable isn't a word (a blow to bureaucratese).

2. "Smell" is more precise than "sniff."

3. "Visible" is redundant since we don't ask that our officers use magnifiers.

Here's the final version. It is more active, (gets rid of a conditional, and
better parallelism is
achieved. It's a hybrid--

"ALERT: Inspect rawhide chews and dog toys for meat fibers. Smell the product
to determine if
it has a strong odor. If you detect either meat fiber or a strong odor, the
rawhide product is not

Again, thanks. Your comments do have consequences. If officers misread the
alert, they could
allow a harmful animal disease to enter the country. You have helped to protect

Previous by Author: STYLE:HELP
Next by Author: Re: Help on phraseology
Previous by Thread: Job Opening in Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Next by Thread: Help: Marketing technical products

What this post helpful? Share it with friends and colleagues:

Sponsored Ads