Re: What would you do?

Subject: Re: What would you do?
From: Eric Haddock <eric -at- ENGAGENET -dot- COM>
Date: Tue, 30 Jul 1996 10:38:35 -0500

>They sent a generic blue portfolio -- OK, not bad.

Do they specialize in financial documents? It seems like blue, already
the most over-used color there is, is pervasive in that industry.

>In the first sentence they use "which" without a preceeding
>comma to introduce a restrictive clause. Ok, not my style,
>but not the worst mistake, either.

Eh, let it go.

>The second paragraph is a single sentence that's 46 words long.

Um...maybe they were really big words, and hyphenated, and stuff....

>Still on the first page, the first sentence of the second
>section says, "<productName> is build around the concept of..."
>instead of "built around".

I've has build things before. Haven't you? I hear it's becoming a real
fad. <g>

>Page 2 features the sentence, "Contacts are a subset of a prospect."

But I thought command of lanugages other than English was a plus....

>Page 3 contains a bulleted list of sentence fragments, all terminated
>with periods.

I hate that. Oh, how I do hate that. It's close on my list of peeves to
my #1, which is using your instead of you're.

>On the bottom of page 4, there's a space between the a and the n in
>the word "can".

Oh, could happen to anyone--really. Even on profile pieces.

>I just don't have the fortitude to proceed to page 5.

If I had some extra time I would... <g>

>Are my standards really *that* unreasonably high?

Not for looking at a profile, show-the-world kind of work. If it was
something like email I wouldn't give the errors very much attention other
than to hope their paper work is better. But for something that exists only
to show off one's skills, this isn't such a grand example.

> Would you point these things out to them

Yes. I would say the core of their writing was good (if it was) but they
_really_ need a proofreader. I would emphasize this need, rather than blast
them for being sloppy about it themselves. That only serves to make someone
feel bad and there's nothing helpful about doing that.
I can't proofread my own work to save my life unless a week or so has
passed since I wrote it, but I'm very good at proofing other works.

Mention it, don't harp on it. Don't be harsh. Emphasize they need a
proofreader. :)

-- Eric

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