Re: Schmoozing Managers

Subject: Re: Schmoozing Managers
From: Melissa Hunter-Kilmer <mhunterk -at- BNA -dot- COM>
Date: Mon, 24 Feb 1997 11:39:41 EST

On Fri, 21 Feb 1997, "T. Mazza" <tmazz -at- KODIAK -dot- ADAMS -dot- COM> wrote:

> Theodora <snip> has three children under the age of five
(expecting another!) and one husband.

A few years ago, this roughly described me. Now my kids are
8, 10, 13, and 15 -- and I still don't want to be away from
them and my husband any more than I have to.

> She is a member of STC, but hates to take even more time
away from her children to attend the STC meetings.

Me, too.

> Besides all of the above, she doesn't believe in
schmoozing, in relationships made for the purpose of
obtaining some benefit. Rather, she believes in
unconditional relationships. And she would rather stand on
her own two feet, than on the shoulders of others.

Well . . . I don't mind the principles of
networking/schmoozing, but in practice I find it very
awkward, as if I'm constantly saying to each person "What
can you do for me? And what do you want from me?" It's

> Some of us, professional tech. writers, just have
different priorities in life.

I put it this way: Your employer (or career) will never love
you back. I have a limited amount of time, money, and
energy, and I choose to spend a lot of it on my family and
my faith. That means that I will never have a stellar
career. Fine. I have what I need.

> Do you feel that you have to balance work and family?

Yes. It's a constant struggle.

> Do you feel pressured by others to devote your every
breath to your profession in order to be seen as a

Yes, but fortunately my boss doesn't do this. However, she
is not the only person in the company who is weighing me in
the balance. Mene, mene, tekel, upharsin.

Melissa Hunter-Kilmer
mhunterk -at- bna -dot- com
(standard disclaimer)

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