Friday Humour II

Subject: Friday Humour II
From: Damien Braniff <Damien_Braniff -at- PAC -dot- CO -dot- UK>
Date: Fri, 23 Jan 1998 12:24:16 +0000

And for those looking for jobs... It's UK biased but I'm sure you'll have
suitable substitute locations etc where required.

BETWEEN THE LINES

With an improvement in the economy "just around the corner", the future
pages of ISTC publications will doubtless be brimming with new jobs,
vacancies and advertisements of a trawling nature. To paraphrase Oscar
Wilde: the artful in full pursuit of the artless, seeking to ensnare the
unwary with cunningly contrived phrases. What do they really mean?

To guide you through the minefield, here is a list of some familiar
statements made by advertisers and interviewers and the purposefully
pessimistic interpretations which go with them.

THE JOB IS:

A challenging new position Our authors saw this one coming and have
wriggled out of it. Interfacing with development teams Dogsbody

A long term contract Will be cancelled at the next change of
government.

A short term contract Will be cancelled at the next financial panic.

Multi-disciplinary Needs electronic, electrical and mechanical
input but we're hoping you'll muddle through.

Travel orientated Weekly trips to Torness, Isle of Grain and
Pembroke power stations.

A vacancy caused by internal promotion A vacancy
caused by internal dissension

To assist in developing new business Four days
a week on the road



THE JOB REQUIRES:

A high degree of communication skills 'O' Level
English

An ability to make an immediate contribution to work in progress Task
deadline at the end of next month

A pleasantly disposed personality Will not argue

Self motivation, Work on own initiative, Self starter Thrown in
at the deep end

Considerable attention to detail Spares catalogue



THE COMPANY:

Fast growing Lack of office space and overstretched admin

Young and dynamic Hire and fire - have new Portacabin

Old established Hidebound and unimaginative - have old
cotton mill



Damien Braniff
Technical Author
PAC International




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